Your Home Is Either Enabling Your Leadership or Working Against It with Kim Costa

Your home is not separate from how you lead. It's either giving you the space, the energy, and the environment to show up fully or it's quietly draining all three.

In this episode, Lemon sits down with Kim Costa, author of Live In Your Wheelhouse and creator of the Wheelhouse Method a framework that helps women align their home environment with who they actually are and where they're actually going. They talk about why Lemon didn't host a single person for five years in a home she hated, what it cost her, and why she was hosting a Georgia game the day after closing on her current house.

You'll walk away with a completely different way of thinking about your home — not as a backdrop to your life, but as an active part of your leadership.

If this episode resonates, share it with a friend who's been tolerating a space that doesn't fit her anymore. And if you're ready to lead from every area of your life, the Well Lived Society founding member rate is still available — but not for long. Find the link in the show notes.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

My guest today is Kim Costa. She spent years as a top-producing luxury real estate agent, which means she has seen the inside of more homes than most people will ever step foot in. And she's actually developed this very specific eye for what makes a home actually work for the person living in it. So out of that career actually came the wheelhouse method, which is a framework she now teaches through her company, Lifestyle Foundations, that helps women align their home environment with who they actually are and where they're actually going in life. She is the author of Live in Your Wheelhouse, and she is the kind of woman who will make you look around your own living room differently before this conversation is over. So we're talking today about why your home environment is one of the most underestimated factors in your leadership. And I promise this one is going to hit close to home, no pun intended. So welcome back to the Well Lived Society. I am so excited that you're here. Let me introduce you to my friend Kim. Hi, Kim. Welcome to the Well Live Society. I'm so grateful to have you here. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. I am literally jazzed. First of all, guys, I'm excited because Kim is in we're in the same state, which I feel like never happens when I connect with people to be on the podcast. So it's really fun to just know the same places and have a similar frame of reference. So I'm really excited just to have you here. But I would love for you to tell us a little something about you that I wouldn't get from your bio first.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Oh my gosh. So I probably live in Atlanta, but other than that, I'm a good golfer. How about that? Okay. I went to golf camp as a kid and we golf still.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

It's so fun. It's a great sport. It's wonderful to be outside. I got my husband into it and he likes he loves it. The kids are all into it. I'm like, I love golf so much.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

It's fantastic. And it's great for the kids. It's good for business. It's just nice to be outside.

SPEAKER_00 1:51

It's so good. And fun fact for you guys listening. I actually was just talking to my best friend about this this week because her three-year-old, she's like starting to get her into golf, which is perfect. But over 200 female golf scholarships go unused every year because there's not enough female golfers going. Yeah, it's over 200. It's like four to five million dollars or something. Oh my gosh. In scholarships that are unused. So if you're listening and you have a daughter, like push her into golf, maybe. Absolutely. Okay. From two female golfers. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Not that I'm worried, but we do it.

unknown 2:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

I wish I wish I had pursued it more than I did. I grew up, I was in high school back in the 80s, not just totally to date myself, but they didn't have scholarships really yet. So I but if they had, I would totally have gone for that.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Yeah. See, so that's what I'm gonna encourage. See, yeah, this is why I always ask this question because this is so fun. Now we have something else to bond over. You're gonna have to come down to Hilton Head so we can play.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

I'm ready to go. Okay. If anybody else wants to come to Hilton Head and play golf with us, like we're gonna Wouldn't that be fun? I know a little leadership retreat just for a minute. Okay, Kim's gonna come. We're gonna do a leadership. You heard it here first. That's what we're doing. So I'm excited because I know that you're in real estate and that is like your jam. That's not totally why you're here. Yeah, right. You have this amazing like wheelhouse method. And so I would love to hear about the wheelhouse method and like how it relates to everything you've kind of got going on.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Awesome. I would love to explain it. It's yeah, it's like a three-step process that isn't just about your home. It's about like totally aligning your life with what you're supposed to be doing, because it's hard to be a leader at something you're not supposed to be doing from a home that drives you crazy.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Okay. I feel this so deeply because my husband and I, we both love to host, like we social butterflies, even though I'm secretly an introvert, but I actually really love hosting, it's probably because I'm very type A and a control freak. And so I like knowing the menu is right and the decor and all those things are right. I like right. But we when we first moved, we were gonna move to Texas. He's from Texas, we were coming back, the place we had found fell through. That's a whole nightmare of a story. But we were like stuck in Dallas, and we were like halfway between El Paso and being in Georgia, which is crazy, by the way, that I was in Dallas, Texas, and I was closer to being in Georgia than I was in El Paso, Texas. Texas is so big, it's insane. But we started scrambling because we're like, I don't know what to do now. Like, I've got kids and dogs, like we're I don't want to be in El Paso. No offense if you guys live there, but there's no trees, and it's Coast Girl. I'm devastated by that fact. And so we were like, what do we do? And so we found a rental off of Craigslist. We looked at probably 15 houses and everything that we found, they were like, Well, we won't be ready for two weeks, or we can't accept your dogs. There was like a reason as to why I'm like, okay, panicking. Found this house. Guy was in the military, just like my husband was, and was like, here's the keys. I don't need an application, I don't need anything. I trust you. Like, we're both military, have a good day. It was like the smallest house ever. And it didn't, it wasn't me. Like, I didn't feel good in it, it just it wasn't me. And so we didn't have people over for five straight years. Wow. Because they didn't like my house and they didn't want people to come.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

That's a thing. That is totally a thing. If you don't feel like this the space represents you, or like there's not enough entertaining room, or just you know, something, or like you don't like the outside or the neighborhood or whatever, you want to invite people over, and that is huge.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Yeah, it destroyed us because we're both just like, my gosh, like we love to host, like we we love having people over, we love doing that. And we had like so much like shame about our house, and we were like, we just don't want anybody here. Yes, so much so that you will laugh when I tell you this. When we bought this house, we bought it Labor Day weekend, like two years ago. And we ended up two days after we closed, our friends are helping us move in. There was a Georgia game on, and so we had the TV, the internet, everything set up before the Georgia game. So people came very early Saturday morning to help us move. And I had a full like hoagie tray from Publix and everything ready to go for the game. And like we were hosting that afternoon for the Georgia game in our house. And then we had a Labor Day party. Like two days later, we had a Labor Day party. And I'm like, this it just felt more like us because we are in a space that felt freer.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Yes. And that could you that you had the TV because I host Georgia games as well, or I like to, but I actually myself need to add one more TV because I feel like I need just a little more space. Like even on a nice weekend, I've covered porches. I need some TVs out there so we can just like spread out. Those listening who aren't in the area, Georgia football's a big deal. It's a big deal in the state. And it's what you do on a Saturday. People um they don't have weddings on Georgia home day because people won't come. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

I've seen wedding invites or like people I know have gotten engaged and they will check the schedule before they book their date. Like there's just a it's like a no-go zone down here. Any SEC team, I will say, like, if you guys are from like SEC country, then you will know like there is no weddings, there's nothing that happens during football season. Like, it's just nobody cares about the NFL down here. Like, we are so talk to me a little bit about like what's because we were talking before we recorded, so for you guys don't know, I always chit-chat with everybody before they come on, but we were talking about the fact that I ripped up all of my landscaping because it didn't feel like me, and you were like, Oh, it meets these like needs that you have. And so I would love to hear some of the things like in the wheelhouse method and like how you figure that out and how this even came to be. Like, I'm so interested in this.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Yeah. So I'm gonna try to give a a like a 30-second overview because there's three parts. So if the visualization is in the shape of a house. So you have like a basement, which is your foundation. Those are the four M's, which is myself, like who am I? How was I made? What are my gifts? And then from those gifts, have you mastered anything? So that's mastery, the second M mission is what am I applying that to? How am I helping other people? What's my mission in life? And then mates are who have I surrounded myself with, like in my career and in my home, and just life in general. Do they see me and support me, or do they somehow sabotage me even unknowingly? So that's the foundation. If that is off, it's like your house can be a crack in your foundation of your house, creates all kinds of problems up at the next level. You can see them in the door frames and then the floor, cracked things. So the next level is the wheel of life. It has eight areas. And so we want to kind of grade our current living situation and our life in these eight areas, and they're finance, health, career, environment, romance, fun and leisure, spirituality, and family and friends. So if something's really low, you're probably moving or renovating or switching the purpose of a home. But within those eight areas, I go up the needs hierarchy of Maslow's hierarchy. That one where you said you hated your landscaping and it just didn't look good. It didn't feel like you. That was basically an esteem need. It goes physiological safety, belonging and love, which belonging might be it too, because you just didn't feel like the home fit you. Maybe it didn't look the same as the others in the neighborhood. And then esteem, it's like, am I proud of my home? Does it feel like me? Or are you misaligned in some way? So that's kind of the whole framework in probably 45 seconds.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

I love that you said this because that is so funny. So our neighborhood was definitely built by the same builder. Yeah. So everybody's landscaping is the same. I would like to have words with our land, whoever did the landscaping on this community because he put a magnolia tree next to every single person's foundation.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Oh no, that they grow so big, and you don't want to cut them down when they get pretty.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

I'm devastated. Mine has to come down. It literally touches my chimney. It's like in, I'm so mad. I'm like, why would you? It literally towers over my house. And I'm like, the roots are so big. So I'm so mad. I'm like, whoever built this was not thinking. Clearly.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Well, they were thinking this looks good right now. Yes. To sell the home. And you know, they weren't thinking about 15, 20 years down the line. Happens all the time.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

Yes. And like I hate it. It devastates me. But because I grew up in New England, I'm I'm so different, I think, than most of my neighbors. It's like they all have their rose bushes and all of this. I'm like, that's not me. I'm like a hydrangea girl. Yes. Which is hard in Georgia to grow hydrangeas. There's a couple that'll grow here, but not as many. And so I was like, this landscaping just doesn't feel like myself. Right. And so one day I did. I looked at my ass. I woke him up, him and the kids so early, and I said, it is nice out. We are going outside and ripped. I mean, it was rose bushes. I ripped everything out. And then it just sat there as a mound of dirt for months until I was like, oh, I know what I want to do. But even just putting mulch and stuff in, I was like, wow, what a transformation. Yes. The house because it's organized. And I was like, I need my house to feel organized and not chaotic at all. And so it, but it did. It made literally a 20 times difference. Like I feel so much better when I come home now than I did a week ago. Wow. And I'm like, okay, and now I'm having a mahjong party in like two weeks at the house. And so I'm like, and then I'm learning. I don't know how to play mahjong yet. So if anybody knows how to play, I'm about to take lessons myself.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

Yeah. Okay. I decided last week. I sat down at a friend's house. She had a little birthday party for me, and we ended up at her mahjong. Some of those boards can be like are pieces of art. It's artwork. It was so pretty. And she had a beautiful mat. And I was like, I need to play this game. This is so cool. Isn't it so good? So cool. So I learned a little bit, but I really want to play some more. But like if you don't have a place to do those things, that's a belonging. Like you want to have friends over, but you can't have them over because everyone plays mahjong and you don't have a space for it. Right. And so that's like not just, oh, that's like a pretty serious need that is not, I know it's a first world need. So people don't get mad at me about, I mean, there's plenty of worse needs. I mean, the bottom is physiological and the profits from my book go to people in recovery who need homes that are provided to them, and also our military forces, the folks who come home and they can't quite sustain a lifestyle or keep a home. And so the profits go to that. So I'm not, I'm not insensitive, but I'm just going up the scale of Maslow's hierarchy that esteem is a real need. Cognitive learning new things. That's a real need. When you're not learning, you're dying. People don't realize that. And then aesthetic is the top one that you want to get up to before self-actualization. But you can't be yourself like I love to entertain, I'm an extrovert, I hate this house. I don't want people to come over. That completely is denying you of yourself, of your real authentic self. How can you lead and like lead your neighbors, lead your friend group, lead people at work? Like if you want to have someone comes to pick you up or drop papers off to you at your home, if you're embarrassed of your home, that's gonna affect your career, you know, on so many levels. So it goes in the hierarchy of needs in each of those areas. So it can be friends and family, career, like spirituality. Do you have like you want to be a grounded person? Do you have grass you can stick your feet in? Or do you live in a high rise and like you need to go to the park? Is there a park nearby? So I mean, it's every single area of your life that gets graded on yes, I have this or no, I don't. And how important is it to you to be your full self? Like, what does your home offer to you?

SPEAKER_00 13:55

I love that you also included relationships in it. And we tell our kids all the time, like you are who you hang out with. That is so true. So I know as an adult, and as somebody who has run a business for a really long time, like finding good supportive friends was so hard. Hard to find people that I especially feel like now that I'm in my 30s, like I'm very intentional about the relationships I have, what I'm looking for out of a friendship, the type of things that I want out of a friend. Like, I want you to be civically minded. I want you to already be leading or running a business or something like my best friend, she's been my best friend for a hundred years. We talk about this all the time because she is the same struggle. She's like, I really struggle with, you know, people in our area who maybe don't have the same type of ambition that you and I have. Or and so having people who really see you and understand you, like I love my husband, he's great and he's very supportive. But I think if I didn't have her in my life, like I wouldn't have taken half of the risks or pushed myself or believed in myself the way that I have because she is such a cheerleader and like vice versa.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

That's so great. It's so important to have. And you don't need 15 people, you need a handful at the most of it's really hard to be very, very close to more than like three or four people, I think, and have a family and you know, do everything else. So I think just having that one, at least one sounding board is so important, you know. I think that's great.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

It's so important. And I like that you brought this up because it is important when you're trying to step out and lead in some type of like in your career, in your home, in your relationship. I mean, any of those areas you mentioned, you could be leading in, which I think is important because I don't think I personally don't think leadership is like a one-off. Like it's not something you just do at work or you just do on the PTA or wherever like you're serving. I think it is a whole life experience. And think it's the way that you work, the way your house is a reflection of you and all those things. And so I would love to know like what you would maybe say to somebody who's like, okay, well, it's been like I don't like my house the way it is right now. So like how do I how you know, without selling, like uprooting my whole family, like with you, which sometimes is not an option for people, right?

SPEAKER_01 16:09

So really it's about even if you can't afford a renovation, you could possibly repurpose a room. So my first question is how has your life changed? Like, why isn't your environment fitting anymore? Or has it never fit? Or it fit previously, but now your life is changed, and it's like, this is who I want to be next. It could be a role, like my kids are leaving, that I'm going to be an empty nester. Now I don't need a five-bedroom house in a certain school district, right? I know that that rings true to a lot of people. And so, what do you want the next part of your life to look like? So, how will you fill that void? And are there things that you're doing you don't want to be doing? And what have you always wanted to do, or what do you want to do next that you're not doing now? And then how does that change your environment? So it could be moving to a different town, like a beach or a mountain or somewhere with a good airport because you like to travel. Or it could be your role has changed and you're thinking, I might go back to work now or do some charity work that I've always wanted to do, but I was so busy with my four kids that I didn't have time to do it. Now it's time for me, you know, whatever it is. And so it's just a matter of creating that environment that lets you be the next person, the next stage of life that you want to be.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

I love that you brought this up because I'm like thinking through my own life as you say this, right? So the rental we had, my husband and I both hated it from the jump, but it was what was available at the time. It was temporary, which is fine. It was temporary.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

I'm a big fan of a temporary space till you figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

Yeah. So we were like, this is great. And so then when we bought this house, we were like, oh, this house is great. It was so much bigger than our rental, and we're like, it has way more yard space. This is why I have three very large dogs, and we're like, this is amazing. We've been here now for two years, and I'm like, this is not it. It's not the forever home. No, I'm like, oh my gosh, we just need because we do like to we've had parties of like 20 people in this house, but I'm like, it's a lot, and I'm like, I'd rather have a better space for a mahjong table. My husband's a musician, so like him playing in the garage, we thought it would be such a great thing, and we're like, it's actually not that great. We need better space for you because he's like, I don't like my stuff in the garage. So we're like, okay, we're making these adjustments. And then we're thinking about the next stage where the school district won't matter in a couple of years, and we'll both still be young. Like, I'll be 42 the day the youngest graduates from high school. And so we're like, we're young and sprightly. So like being in downtown Savannah could be really fun for us because I'm like, everything's walkable down there, maybe a little less maintenance, yeah. And great music scene. We'd be close to the boat club. If you guys have listened to any episodes, you guys know I love the boat club more than anything in the world. Um, I'm like, Kim, that's a thing. Recommend to all your clients. It is the best investment I've ever made in my entire life. Is the Freedom Boat Club. So if you guys have fun. Oh my gosh, it is my favorite. We, I feel like I tell everybody about it. If you're because they have it up near you. Yeah. So like Lake Linear. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Yeah, I'm Lake Linear. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

And so it's everywhere up there. Like, but it's it's worldwide. So like if you take a trip to Costa Rica, you can take a boat out. And like you all you pay for is like your monthly membership and the fuel for whatever boat you take out. That's if you don't clean, no maintenance, no nothing. They pull the boat out. I get on it, we dock the boat, and they take it away. Like it's very hands-off. Best investment I've ever made. But I'm like, I would like to be as close as humanly possible to being able to get on the boat or like my toes in the sand on a regular basis. Yeah. It feels more like us. And so the home that we're in, I feel like matters when we're trying to figure out and thinking about the stuff that we're involved in. So, like my husband runs like a nonprofit and then I'm starting my own. We're like, we're involved in so many things. I'm like, I want space to be able to do that and like have people over, have a meeting, have whatever it is we're going on. Like the home we have does matter for leadership.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

Or if it's not going to be in your home, is there a clubhouse or something that you could hold? You can rent out a room or there's a patio joining it and just have like a bigger group, you know, a place that can host it for because sometimes it's hard to buy a home to fit 50 people unless you have tons of outdoor space. And then what if it rains? And what if it's 95 degrees? Because it gets hot here in Georgia. And so you cannot always depend on having that outdoor space that is really, really awesome, especially in the fall or the spring, except for the pollen. April is rough around here. Everything allergies, you just know not to plan apart an outdoor party because you wipe your patio or your outdoor furniture off and it's green within another hour. So there's certain certain weeks you shouldn't have a party outdoors. But um, but so so like do you have like a clubhouse that could also people and has parking? You know, I know one thing about my home here, it's a lovely cottage, it fits in many, many ways. Does not have great parking if I want to have people over. It's in a lovely oval-shaped neighborhood, and then there's greenery in the middle. So you could have a party there. It's just that the parking's not great around it. So for me, it's like, okay, could they park at the church across the street if it's not a Sunday and things like that? So I mean, you do have to get a little creative sometimes because there is no perfect house. But I think it's really, really important to like look at these areas. If you guys are wanting to start some nonprofits or have and start nonprofits, I put that under the career heading because many people don't have paying jobs. I did that myself for decades. And now I was like, I'm gonna get paid because I did it for 20 years without getting paid. Um, so I put that under the career heading. You do have to fit your home to that piece. Like I'm a real estate person, I need to be near highways. So I really can't live half an hour out into the country, even though I think. It's pretty. So I have to incorporate that into my home. And what is the most important? Like right now, I'll be working as a real estate agent, an author, and a speaker for the next 10 years. So I need to be kind of near an airport and near the highway. And so I can get to all the different things I want to do. And I need an office and a podcast studio. And my husband is retiring. So he doesn't need all these things, but he's going to keep his office at his business. And it just works. Career is a big priority. But now that he's retiring, entertainment is. And he likes to golf. So we need to live near our club. And he likes to meet his friends for brunch. So we need to stay near our little town where it's easy for him to get there. And then family and friends, you know, we're about to have more grandchildren. And how close are we to them? Because life changes and then your priorities change. And so you have to, if it gets bad enough, you might be moving or repurposing a room or adding a porch on the back, a three-season, four-season porch where if you don't have enough room to entertain your 20 people, you can make an addition on the back. And then, oh, you can invite 10 more people.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

I don't know. Because I feel like we just went through the home buying process and we are long ago. You're just settling in, really. That's how I feel. And it takes two years. I believe it's been two years that we've been in this house. But and it did, it took probably two years for us to be like, okay, yeah, it's like ours now, especially now that we'd like ripped stuff out and I changed the roof and all those things. I'm like, oh, now it feels I redesigned the entire porch aesthetic. And I'm like, oh, this is. I looked at pictures from when we bought it to what it looks like this past weekend. I was like, these are not even the same house. But I'm like, it was small stuff, right? Just putting my glider, changing the wreath that was on the door to something that was way more of ouresthetic, adding topiaries. Like I got fake topiaries from Hobby Lobby and it made a huge difference. I put them in a gigantic pot and I filled it with a bag of rocks from Lowe's. And so now they don't blow in the wind. But I'm like, wow, this feels more like us. Like they're big, beautiful boxwood topiaries. I'm like, I love them. And they were like 50 bucks at Hobby Lobby. So like it doesn't have to cost a lot. And it sets the stage as people walk in.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

You know, it really sets the stage for like I'm walking into, you know, Lemon's home. And this is so her, these boxwoods, boxwoods and this great wreath are so her. It just makes a statement as you walk in the door. Sometimes if this isn't meant to be derogatory, but sometimes you can tell what stage of life someone's in if there's nothing on like and the and you or if you walk in and there's not a lot of decor. You ever walk in a home and it just feels a little sad. You know, it's like, gosh, I what's going on with these folks? And then or if you walk in a home and it's chaotic, you ever felt that? You can there are visual representations of chaos and sadness and just you know lack of living sometimes in people's homes. And then sometimes you walk in a home and you're like, wow, let's go. Like it's it's like it's not my energy, it's not my decor, but it is so them. And I'm like being greeted by this person at their front door with what they have on the outside.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

Okay, yeah. So this I say I feel like I say this all the time, and everybody kind of laughs at me, but I do feel like the way we steward our home is a reflection of what's happening internally with our own leadership style and how we are showing up in every area. Because I don't know, maybe it's just me because I'm a clean freak and I like things organized. Like I listen, I got Martha Stewart's cleaning book, which is 800 long.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

I have it too. It's somewhere around here. It's like this thick, it's so big.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

If you guys don't have it, she just came out with a new one too. It's called the Martha Stewart Way. It's so good. Nice. I know, and her organizing book, very good. Uh, that I like go through her checklist and I am like dumping boiling water down every one of our drains. I'm like a lunatic because I want my house to be clean, and you have to maintain it.

SPEAKER_01 25:53

People don't realize that you have to maintain, or else it's gonna cost you later. It's gonna cost you the plumber coming because your shower's clogged up because you didn't do the boiling water.

SPEAKER_00 26:05

I love the people we bought the house from. They are friends of ours. I know them. But they told us when we bought the house that they did not do any maintenance on the house because they knew it was a short-term thing for them and they did no maintenance, and it has cost us much.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

Oh my gosh. I hope you got a discount. That's all I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

We have a good deal. I'll show you offline when we hooked it up with our house, but I'm like, dang, we've spent some. I'm like, you know, a roof is not cheap to put on. It's not, it's huge. It's so expensive.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

Siding is huge, plumbing is huge, they're all so HVCs are six digits.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

I know.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Sorry, five.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

It can be six, it can, yeah, with multiple right up into six figures. Yeah. I'm like, it's so much. I'm like, buying a home, it's not for the week is all, but it also feels so good because it's not a rental, it's mine. And so, like when we were having a very long conversation about the shade I wanted on the roof, and I'm looking at my shutters and I'm thinking about the I mean, it was before I redid the whole front landscaping, but I was I had a vision in my head of how I wanted people to feel when they pulled up and what it said about Glenn and I as a unit, and you know, me, because for all intents and purposes, like nobody's asking my husband about the front porch decor, but they're gonna ask me. They're gonna assume it's a reflection of me and the judgment on me as the woman in the relationship. And so I wanted to make sure like it really was communicating something about like us and our style and our vibe and what we value and all the which I know sounds so silly thinking about the shade of a roof, but I'm like, No, I think it's very important, it's very, very important.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

And it can look off with the color of your house, and then people pull up and they're not really sure why something is off, but it just feels funny because the two shades don't work together. Do you know? Like, so it's very, very important and a huge investment. So if you make a mistake and they don't look good together and it bugs you, every time you pull up to your house, you're going to think, oh, it's just a little too red or a little too black. I really want it to be warmer or whatever it is. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

Oh, that matters too. Like the undertone of it, whether it's a warm, a cool, a neutral, like that matters so much. So our whole house when we bought it was in like a warm, every single wall is the same warm gray color. With warm or the cool, it's a cool gray. It's like this like purpley gray color, but then we have warm floors. Yes. And then bright white molding and like everything.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

When you first moved in, it was probably so noticeable because there wasn't any furniture to camouflage with like if you take a fabric that has the cool gray and the warm of the wood and another color, and then it's just like, oh, this all works. It's because the fabric brought it all together. But if you take all that out and you just look at it separately, it's like, whoa, how this does not go.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

Yeah. The first room we redid was our own bedroom because I'm like, this is like I need to feel at peace, like at night when I go to sleep and it's your wrist fit. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, this is my it's my space. I can make everything else beautiful and functional, but my room has to feel good. We have a lot of windows and they're all floor-to-ceiling windows in our house, which is beautiful. We have French doors in our bedroom that open to the back here. So we get a lot of the good morning sun too. And so I'm like, I want a color that's gonna look good when the sun's coming in. And my husband, we we went back and forth for weeks over just the pink color, but now it's like this warm, beige, like it's called oyster shell. Even though it's weird, it says it's yellow, but it's definitely not. It like looks beige on my wall. I'm like, yeah, it is what it's but then like all of our furniture now in here is like warm, and I'm like, this is I love being in my room now. I love it. Like it's so perfect. We put art up and all the things. I'm like, oh, this is I feel like I can I sleep better than I did before we painted and like swapped furniture. You do sleep better.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

You do. I know just the light out of curiosity. You like the light in the morning, or do you have blackout shades and things like that? Because people are very particular about I need to sleep until such and such time, but the sun comes up at 6 30. I need to sleep till 7 30. I need blackout shades because I'm I go to bed late or whatever it is.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

So I am naturally up early. Like I was up, okay, guys. So we're recording this today after election day. I was up at 5 30 this morning looking at election results just like naturally. Like I'm 7 a.m. to me is like sleeping in. Like a yes, me too. I'm like, I can't sleep in at 7 a.m. I'm like, whoa, I'm getting a little when the news starts.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

Like, I want to see what happened.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

I'm like, I'd like to sit out on my porch now because we have bird feeders up. That was like a new thing I put up with Chinese. I'm like, so I sit on my little glider with my cup of coffee and like look at all my little bird friends because it's weird. If you guys watch birds, it ends up being the same birds that come to your house at the same hours every day, which is so cool, and I love it. So I'm like, I am up, my husband, because he was military, can sleep literally anywhere in any condition. So it's like really crazy. First thing I'm opening every single blind, every curtain is open. As soon as my eyes open, it's the first thing I do. Is open I don't even have lights on in my house right now, and I'm still lit with plenty of light. There's a lot of light, which was super important to me because I'm a sunshiny, beachy kind of girl. And that was the other thing. I'm like, I don't feel good if there's not natural light in my house. And like that was a factor in shopping to make me feel like myself.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

I mean, those are the whole things. So in this wheelhouse method or assessment, you kind of take notes as you go through each of the sections to say, this is what I like. I need an office for my career. I need like for environment, I need lots of natural light. It would be awesome if it was like you could take a bicycle and it was within the distance of a beach or a walking trail or whatever it is that's important to you. You just kind of go around the wheel of life and you answer the questions and write notes down and you kind of have a snapshot for what your ideal situation is. And then you try to fix, if you're going to move, you maybe have a chance to fix many of those things. Like if it is sunlight and you kind of have a darker interior, you could take off shades. You could put in a bigger picture window. Like in my bathroom, I have a transom over my bathtub. I would love a huge picture window. So I'll probably do that one day to just let more light in, especially. I love to just kind of look outside. It's my best, my favorite thing is to look outside either while taking a bath or when I first wake up in the morning. Like I need a big picture window like you to watch the birds. And when I'm doing dishes, I love doing dishes for some reason. I do not like scrubbing floors, but I like doing dishes. And I have a big climbing rose bush right out my window with a rock wall, and the little chipmunks kind of go in and out of it. I just love it. Like so that I know I like I know I need a lot of light to be doing things and looking out. I mean, the only place I don't have it is near my tub. And so eventually that's something I can change. I don't need to change my whole house. I just can put a, you know, take out the transom and put a larger picture window with some shades that I can, you know, close up for privacy and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

Yeah. And it doesn't have to cost a bajillion dollars.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

It does not. That might be a couple of thousand, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

Yeah. But yeah, we had a guest on a couple of weeks ago and she said to rephrase how we think about these things, like an investment into like your mental health and your well-being is not an expense. Like it truly is an investment. So if natural light is something you need to feel good, then like I say it's worth it to me. Absolutely. That is my biggest pet peeve with our house. Our kitchen is dead center of the house, and there are no, there's windows in the dining room. And I was like, I'm gonna like video walk you through my house at some point. So look at this. I'm like, it's so dumb. But the kitchen is dead center because we have a wet wall that runs right through the middle. Our laundry room is on one side of the wall, our kitchen, both bathrooms are all on the same wall. So all of our plumbing lives in one spot. And so there's no window in my kitchen. And I'm like, oh sad. And then right outside of where the kitchen is, climbing up the side by our garage, we have Confederate jasmine, and then I have a hummingbird feeder right there. And I'm like, and you can't even see it unless you go outside or you're in the dining room. And I'm like, so depressing. And like next house, the kitchen has to have a window.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

It you know, it's so hard too, because there's no perfect home, but sometimes you don't even realize what's gonna bother you until you move in. And then you think you think, well, how can I fix this? Like, okay, I'll put the hummingbird feeder on the friend side of the house that I'll sit, I'll sit on my front porch when I wake up instead of because I can't see it from my kitchen, but you kind of need to be in your kitchen when you wake up, you know. I if you're like me, I like get I like to piddle and get things done. Yeah. So but you know, I mean, that's what you do. Like if you can't move, you just have to kind of sit down, take the assessment. And if something's bothering you, it might be that at a different time of day, like when you're not in your kitchen, you make it a point to go sit in your sunroom. Or you take a walk in the morning to get that morning like daylight and sunlight, which is so good for your health, by the way, to get up and have some sun on you. So if you don't have a porch or a window you can sit by and the weather's decent in your area, maybe go take a walk around the block first thing in the morning. Bring your coffee with you. And that's you know, you have to think of other ways to get what you want.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

I love this because I I just love this conversation. I really could sit here with you all day because I do think I I just love that you're like you figure out what you need in life and then find a home or make your home fit the things that you need. Yes. I just think that is so important. I really, I really firmly believe that like our home, if our home is in disarray, like I know because I work from home. So if my house isn't clean, I cannot function and do anything at all. I'm like, I have I have to have my space organized and yes, I have to feel good in order to think clearly and to show up better. And so I really love this guy. I love this conversation, it's just so fun for me.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

It is grounding. So, right before our conversation here today, I was out of town over the weekend, and then I just went to see my husband's wonderful family in Alabama. They put on an amazing rodeo for us. That was so cool. So, like, really, really, really cool. They have a really neat living environment. I was like, wow, this is so cool. I can't wait to write about having rodeo in your own property. That is amazing. So, anyway, I just got home and it was my birthday last week. So I've been out and I was like, I really before I have a conversation with anyone, I need my house organized because I was like, I don't want to sit down to this conversation and feel like my house is in chaos with like the laundry that I took with me and my cleaning folks are here now. And I was like, you have to clean up for the cleaning folks. So I was like, while I'm recording, I'm gonna get everything ready. I'm like doing laundry, putting things away. And I felt so much better coming into this conversation being myself, because it's like I can't walk into a conversation to talk about this with you when my own home felt chaotic because I hadn't been here. I was like, I have to do this before I do anything. But when I walk in, I could not wait to get home and like whip everything into shape.

SPEAKER_00 37:21

I feel that so deeply because I don't feel like I can lead effectively or do anything effectively if my home isn't orderly and it can look different for all of you, like whatever your kind of standard is. They know that I feel 20 times better when there's no dishes in my sink. It's clean when the floors are clean, like when all of those things, I'm like, oh okay, I can breathe, I can relax.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

The laundry's put away, the plants are watered, the birds are fed. I mean, I did all that when I got home.

SPEAKER_00 37:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

No, my birds are gonna leave me.

SPEAKER_00 37:51

I need to feed them. Yeah, my husband laughs at me. We also have a squirrel picnic table. So if you don't have one, go get one. Walmart has them. They're so cute. It's a legitimate picnic table.

SPEAKER_02 38:01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 38:01

And it like screws into a tree or like your fence, but you can it like the inside is like it's not like hollowed out, but like it's like sunk in. Yeah. So you can fill it with like bird feeder because that or like bird food, because that's what they eat all the time. Yes. They love it, but then they also have like a thing for they eat deer corn. And so I it like has like a little hole in the middle, so you can put deer corn on it, and they will just sit and eat. They sit at the table and eat the deer corn and the for their little hands, and it's the cutest thing that is adorable. You need one for like your chipmunks by your roast, yeah. I'm like, it's cheap too. I feel like I paid like 10 bucks at Walmart for one that's a I have to look that up. Yeah, my husband told me about it. He's because he was like, the squirrels are gonna eat all of your bird seed. And I was like, Well, what do I do? He's like, get them a picnic table and then they'll go and eat there instead. And I was like, See, that's a great idea. Hey, I'm like, I didn't know. See, sometimes I'm like, You have good ideas, so that's that's great.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

Okay, so I need to do that. I need to find one of those. I have plenty of room back there.

SPEAKER_00 39:01

Okay, so how can somebody do like a like this fun assessment?

SPEAKER_01 39:06

Okay, so well, it's in my book, Live in Your Wheelhouse, and it's available like Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books a Million, and all that. And so you can do it there. I'm also going to start running workshops. So you can go to my website and it is lifestylefoundations with an s dot com. And so I'll be starting to run workshops where like, you know, 20 people come and I go through each of the eight areas, and then we have a discussion and people ask questions, and then you rate each area in your wheel from one to 10. And we see if you have a flat tire or like you need a little more inflating in some areas, or if you're living in your wheelhouse, it's like a full robust wheel shape. So that's what we're going for. But if it's going to be a fun, like everyone, you know, get together, ask questions, and then I learn about people's lifestyles and like how we can up level some areas.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

Uh okay, everything will be linked for you guys in the show notes and everything. So you can go and connect with Kim and you should because she's wonderful. And I'm like, I need to go do the assessment and see where, like, we need to do changes. And I also love that you said like things are constantly evolving, right? With your husband retiring and all those things, like it's worth constantly going back and reevaluating to see like what your needs have changed. So get the book because I feel like you guys just need to go through it on a regular basis, is what I'll say. Like, I would even do it yearly and see what needs to adjust and you know how you can adapt based on what season of life you're in.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

Exactly. That's exactly what it's for. Keep it on your bookshelf. And then when something's changing and you or you feel restless in your home, you can just pick it up again and just see what'll help fix it.

SPEAKER_00 40:42

Oh my gosh. I love that. Skim, thank you for hanging out with me today. This has been so fun. You have to tell me when you run workshops so I can update this and put them in here. Really, go get on the latest workshop because I'll be there, guys. If you're not there with me, I'll be fad. So come with me to do one because I think you can always use like an a life audit. I think that they're so fun to do and just evaluating where I am and what can adjust and what I, you know, maybe I've been suppressing has been a problem for me or an area of my life I haven't even been thinking about. So I'm really excited for that.

SPEAKER_01 41:15

Yeah. Well, I'm excited for everybody just to you know, live a we only have one life to live. We can live it as best as possible.

SPEAKER_00 41:21

I love that so much. Well, thank you for being here, Kim. I appreciate you.