Overcoming Addiction: A Journey to Sobriety and Leadership with Chrystal Cueller | #151

Ever wondered how faith can transform lives, especially when battling addiction? Join us on the Milk and Honey podcast as we sit down with Chrystal, a passionate sober coach devoted to helping Christian women embrace sobriety and discover their true purpose. Chrystal shares her powerful journey from weekend binge drinking and toxic relationships to finding solace and strength in her faith. Through her candid story, we uncover the pivotal moments that led her to abandon harmful habits and devote herself to a sober life, emphasizing the crucial role of community and a relationship with Jesus in overcoming addiction.

We also tackle the societal pressures that often compel us to numb our emotions rather than confront them, hindering our spiritual growth and emotional health. For women in leadership roles, the struggle with pride and shame can be particularly challenging. Through relatable anecdotes and profound insights, we highlight the importance of transitioning from relentless striving to abiding in the Lord. Chrystal and I discuss practical advice for maintaining emotional well-being while fulfilling one's divine purpose, offering listeners valuable takeaways to apply in their own lives.

Lastly, we emphasize the transformative power of seeking help within a loving, non-judgmental church community. Inspired by Jesus’ model of love and understanding, we explore how such support can make a significant difference for those struggling with addiction. Tune in to learn about valuable resources like the Kingdom Alliance Community on Facebook and the Clean Method Mentorship, designed to offer guidance and support. Whether you're on your own journey to sobriety or supporting someone who is, this episode offers a wealth of inspiration and encouragement to share with others. Join us next Monday as we continue to uncover the depths of leadership and our heavenly calling.

Enjoy the episode, everyone!

How you can be part of the movement to equip women.
1. Share the podcast!
2. Leave a 5-star review!

Here are the best ways for you and me to connect and grow together!

Step 1: Subscribe to the Podcast
Step 2: Check out my mentorship for under $150/month here
Step 3: Let's Connect: https://www.lemonprice.co/coffeechat

"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve." Mark 10:45

Thanks for listening!

If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share this in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast.

CONNECT WITH LEMON:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Visit the Website
• Get on a call
• Join the Community

Chapters

• 0:17 Women's Sobriety and Faith Journey
• 11:42 Breaking Through Pride and Shame
• 19:26 Seeking Help and Finding Freedom
• 23:41 Spreading Inspiration and Encouragement

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:17

Hey, I'm Lemon. I am just like you, sister friend. Talk about stepping into that overflow that God has for us by becoming those ultimate Proverbs 31 women. Hey, I'm Lemon. I am just like you, sister friend. I knew God had something more in store for me, but I couldn't see a way out of the laundry piles and, frankly, I resented that. Proverbs 31 woman. How was I going to live up to the hype? That is until I found out how to really step into becoming this Proverbs 31 woman through leadership development. In this podcast you're going to find financial freedom, leadership, growth and motivation so you'll be able to do all the things God has called you to do with ease and really step into that land of milk and honey.

Speaker 1: 0:59

Welcome back to the Milk and Honey podcast. I'm your host, lemon Price, and today I have my friend, crystal, and I'm really excited. Actually, I found Crystal on TikTok like a year ago maybe, and I was, so I was just obsessed with her and what she was doing. And so she talks about she's sober living and she's a sober coach and she works with Christian women to embrace this sobriety and unlock their true purpose. And so she has had her own battles with binge drinking and that is really what brought her here. Is God bringing her through this? And so she approaches everything through a biblical and practical lens, so women can break free.

Speaker 2: 1:36

So thank you, my friend, for being here. Thank you for having me. I'm super excited to be here.

Speaker 1: 1:42

I'm super excited. I really was like obsessed with your story and just hearing you kind of talk about the things you've been through. So for everybody who doesn't know, can you tell everybody a little bit about your history and how you kind of arrived here?

Speaker 2: 1:55

Yeah, definitely. I'll share it in a nutshell. So I was never physically addicted to alcohol, but I got close so I was.

Speaker 1: 2:04

My friend, I have been obsessed with you and your story for literally probably a year now. For those who don't know your history, new background. Would you share a little bit of your story with us?

Speaker 2: 2:15

Yeah, absolutely I. When it comes to drinking, I was more so a binge drinker, so I was never physically addicted to alcohol, but I did get really close to that. And so I was the kind of girl that Monday through Friday I would work out, I would go to work, I would do what I had to do, but once the weekend came along, I was out at the bars and I was never the person that just wanted to have one drink. I remember even thinking people that just had one drink I was like why would you just have one drink? There's no fun in that. And so I would always end up tipsy or, most of the time, drunk, making decisions that I wouldn't make when I was sober, and I kind of played that game for gosh probably over 10 years. And during that time I of course started to question my relationship with alcohol. When I started to just have consequences for my drinking my first DWI, I started to just recognize that things were happening that I wouldn't remember so having just constant blackouts, relationships, just kind of getting hindered from my alcohol consumption and things like that, and always believed in God but never really had a relationship with Jesus, and so kind of just fast forwarding when my drinking just kind of escalated. I was in a toxic relationship for about 10 years and I didn't know at that time, but he struggled with addiction. But as we kind of went through our relationship his addiction really escalated and then I realized that I was using alcohol to just really cope and I didn't know how to navigate that relationship. I was very new to what addiction even looked like. Even though I knew I was a binge drinker, I never really saw that as an addiction, even though that is obviously that's really close to addiction. You can have that emotional addiction and things like that. And so I just found myself really using alcohol to cope just with his addiction really and just also with the toxicity, with the trauma that went along with that.

Speaker 2: 3:59

And in the midst of that's really when I found Jesus. And, like I said, I was already a believer. But I remember there was this time where I was just searching for something. I didn't know it was Jesus at that time, but I was searching for something and as I look back I really just feel like this was a Holy Spirit just leading. I had this idea. I was like you know what, maybe I should join a Bible study which was never even a thought at that time. So I know that was the Holy Spirit for sure. And I had come across an acquaintance from high school actually, and her and her husband were doing what I thought was a Bible study, but they were actually running church from home and so it was a small church and so they invited me over. I went over there and from that point on I always say God wrecked my life in the best way possible, because they really showed me the unconditional love of Christ.

Speaker 2: 4:46

I started reading the Bible, I started to build my relationship with Christ, and this is really when I started to get that conviction to let go of that relationship, which I already knew. Once I started reading the word of God and building that relationship with Christ, I knew that it wasn't in alignment at all, and so it probably took me about two years into really building that relationship with Christ to finally make that move, and so I ended up leaving the relationship about gosh yeah, about after 10 years. And then I was like, okay, it's going to be so much easier to stop drinking now, right, because he's the problem. Right, I wasn't fully taking accountability because I was like, oh, yeah, like he's the problem. That's why I'm drinking and it's going to be fine. And so I ended the relationship and that's actually when I started drinking even more.

Speaker 2: 5:29

And that was the first time when I, I remember, I went out drinking and I woke up, of course, having a hangover, feeling the anxiety, all the feelings. And I just remember having this feeling too, which I would have this over and over again where I was just like Crystal, like you are not living up to your potential. This is not what God has for you. And for the first time in my life, I felt like I was losing control and I had this thought where it was like and again I feel like this is the Holy Spirit to you where it was just like you can continue to drink like this, but you're not going to fulfill the purpose that God has for you. And so that was probably one of the scariest moments, because I had never felt that way before, I never felt like I was losing control. And I also knew that if I kept drinking like that, I would become physically addicted to alcohol, because the days where I was sober, they were less and less.

Speaker 2: 6:13

At that point, it wasn't just the weekends, it was like Wednesday, thursday, friday, maybe take a day off and then, you know, keep going. So whenever those feelings, whenever that hangover would wear off and those feelings would come up, that's when I would want to go drink again. I didn't know how to navigate my emotions triggers, nothing like that. And so at that point is really when I reached out to my church, because they knew what was going on with my relationship and with alcohol and just kind of the journey I was on, and so they helped me stay accountable Praise God, thank God for them.

Speaker 2: 6:40

And then I also hired a sober coach, like myself, I know at that time I was looking for a faith-based coach but couldn't really find one.

Speaker 2: 6:46

But this coach really helped me just kind of get the beginning stages of that accountability as well. And then I also hired a Christian therapist and I just covered all my bases because I was like, whatever you're doing, crystal, it is not working. So we need accountability, we need support. And so from that point on it kind of just led me to where I'm at today and obviously just coaching women, christian women, and just helping them break that binge drinking cycle. And even some women that come to me they're just like maybe they drink once a month and they're just like man, like I, have this conviction that the Lord is putting on my heart and I just can't seem to give it up. And so that's what we focus on, and really just focus on also just having a sober mind, because it's about so much more than just letting go of alcohol, but really developing that mind of Christ. So that's it in a nutshell. I always try to condense it, but there's so many moving pieces there.

Speaker 1: 7:33

I know I love this story because I feel like I can relate to parts of your story, yeah, so much. Maybe that's why we bonded is because I'm like, oh yeah, I could see myself in that part, I could see how this part is close to my life. Yeah and yeah, getting to a place now where it's okay. I mean, now I'm like I'll have. I think my husband bought me a bottle of wine like three months ago and I had one glass from it and now I just use it to cook all the time.

Speaker 1: 7:57

Because I'm like I can't. I just can't, unless I'm around one friend and then then she's we're going to put, she's we're going to, but now she's a mom, so maybe not, but in our early 20s we did the same thing, though it was the same thing Like we were normal sober people, like Monday to Thursday we would go out to Westies, which is terrible. It's like working in the school system and things like that.

Speaker 1: 8:17

And yeah, it was never one. And so then it led to bad decisions. I like met my first husband while I was at a bar, like in Atlantic City, and I knew that I had a vision from God like I was going to meet my husband in church and all these things, and so I married this man who in a bar, from Atlantic City and he had an opioid addiction and that's the first time I'd ever really experienced addiction and like what that looks like, which, yeah, I mean there was times like it made my drinking worse.

Speaker 1: 8:48

Yeah, it made my addiction I feel like a little bit worse and things like that. And then when I split, then I was just by myself. I moved to Georgia by myself for six months and just lived alone for six months. God was like, let me just pluck you and move you, and so then I feel like I didn't. I had no friends, so it was easy for me to not binge drink anymore Any of those things. I did the same thing for a solid almost 10 years. That behavior existed and then when I found you I was like oh, my gosh this is so similar and I love that you brought up to you.

Speaker 1: 9:20

It's not necessarily that you're like going out and drinking a ton to you and that's why people come to you. They're coming to you because of other issues, right? Or they want to give it up, or where. What would you say to like those kind of women who are like I only have one glass of wine a month, but God's calling me to give it up, or like where do you feel like the hangup is for people and even giving up like that one glass of wine a month?

Speaker 2: 9:39

Yeah, I mean, I feel like when it comes to that, it can vary. So some people, someone that comes to me, they maybe have previously had a binge drinking issue, but they've gotten to a point where they can quote, unquote, moderate it, but the Lord is still pressing on their heart where it's he's no, like I didn't say to moderate and I said totally remove it, even if it's just for a season or if it's just an idol, really is what it comes down to, cause it could be alcohol, it can be exercise, it can be anything that can be an idol, right. But I feel like, for those women that do come to me, when it's maybe just those couple of glasses of wine, it's because the Lord has already been working with them on binge drinking before, but they're still trying to hold on to that alcohol, right To that idol. And what I've seen to be true too which was obviously true for me as well is just that it's a hindrance, right.

Speaker 2: 10:24

A lot of women that come to me, they are leaders or entrepreneurs. They have this big calling on their life and this, too, it's. The Lord is going to mold us, the Lord is going to take us to the pressing and the crushing, and it requires us to not live like the world, and that requires letting go of those idols like alcohol for some of us. Obviously, that's not everybody's conviction, but you know, the women that do come to me. That's where they're at, where they're just like man, but I'm not even getting drunk anymore. Why? Why do I have to give this up and I'm like, I don't know, I'm not God, but clearly like there's. There's something that is keeping you attached to this. This is a hindrance, this is a strong cold, and so that's kind of what I see.

Speaker 1: 11:03

And those women? Do you primarily work with people in the United States?

Speaker 2: 11:08

Primarily, but I've worked with a couple women from Canada, things like that. It really just depends, yeah, all over.

Speaker 1: 11:13

Yeah, because I feel like other cultures. Necessarily. I feel like alcohol is a little bit less, I don't know, taboo maybe. Yeah, where, like you're having a glass of wine at lunch and stuff, like in Spain, right. People are like, oh, and they're having a glass of wine at lunch and it's like normal. Like in Spain, right, people are like, oh, and they're having a glass of wine at lunch and it's like normal. So I'm like I wonder if the binge drinking rate is the same in other places, as it is like here in the state.

Speaker 2: 11:36

Yeah, I feel like it's definitely worse here. That's just my take on it.

Speaker 1: 11:42

It is super interesting how, like a cultural attitude towards drinking and everything too, can impact, like the strongholds and things that we have.

Speaker 2: 11:50

Yeah, and I think too, we've just been molded to numb and not really go through the human experience, these different feelings and emotions that we get as a human, and I know we like to sometimes label okay, it was the bad, it was the good emotion.

Speaker 2: 12:04

But the truth is that God made us the way, he made us right To express these emotions, to feel these emotions and just like triggers, right, like sometimes those are red flags that we need to look at something or it's a red flag that we need to, not even a red flag, but maybe more so that it highlights something that the Lord is trying to heal us.

Speaker 2: 12:19

And so we're constantly numbing. How are we going to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit? How are we actually going to heal, go to the next level with the Lord and healing it, and fulfill the purpose that God has for us and I think that's a big part of it is that it's like if we have anxiety or we have, why don't we feel some sort of way? It's okay, go take a pill, go drink this drink, and it's hold on for a second. What is the root of this? Why am I feeling this way? Did I even go to God? There are steps before that that I feel like we can go to, opposed to always numbing. I feel like society has just kind of conditioned us to think that way.

Speaker 1: 12:52

Okay, yes, and even thinking about the type of people that you primarily work with it's entrepreneurs, it's leaders yeah, I think there's an expectation to one. Be super social, right, when you're so, drinking becomes a social thing, but then also you have to be high productive all the time too, and so we almost don't create space to have this human experience.

Speaker 2: 13:16

Yeah, which I think is interesting too, because I do work with a lot of coaches, and it's like we can preach all day to people. We're just like, oh yeah, we know what to tell others, but then we don't actually take that advice and apply it to our lives sometimes. Yeah, I totally agree with that. It can be challenging to make that time when we are so productive and, like you said, when we put this pressure on ourselves which, again, when we put that pressure on ourselves, that means we are not really allowing ourselves to get our strength from the Lord we're probably out of alignment, right, we're probably just more striving opposed to abiding in the Lord, and so that's something to look at too. I feel like I can go off on so many different tangents, but yeah, I love that Striving instead of abiding.

Speaker 1: 13:55

That means you need to put it on like a t-shirt or something.

Speaker 2: 13:59

Yeah, it reminds me from a song I forget which one it is, but it literally sings that it's, instead of striving, really abiding in the Lord. And I stuck in my head. I love that the Lord and I stuck in my head.

Speaker 1: 14:11

I love that. Yes, definitely put that on a t-shirt or something for your client. I should. I'm going to take note of that. Yeah, we're going to see her in six months coming out with a whole clothing line striving instead of abiding.

Speaker 1: 14:19

No, but I do think I think there's pressure for sure on, especially as women too. Right, because chances are like they're also taking care of their home and their family and all this. So it's like, where's the downtime for you to process and experience life as a whole? Do you feel like, because have you seen this primarily with women who come to you, who are in like leadership roles and there's like a certain expectation of them? Is it like a harder for them to come? Right, because is there like a pride issue? Is it like shame? I would love to hear a little bit about some of the emotions these women are like working through.

Speaker 2: 14:57

Yeah, definitely. I feel like the biggest one that I've seen and it's probably because this was me is pride for sure and I'll go back to my story. I know for myself I feel like pride and shame for sure. I know for myself, though, just being a leader and being just a very independent person in general, I always thought I was just like I should be able to figure this out on my own. I should be able to stop drinking on my own, like I'm not living under a bridge, I'm not physically addicted or I'm not as bad as other people are, so I should be able to figure this out. And so that's what I do see.

Speaker 2: 15:28

And a lot of the women that do come to me, the leaders they're just dumbfounded. They're just like why can I not figure this out? I'm a strong, independent woman. And then they start to get in this guilt and shame cycle. Then they kind of hide, but I do feel like the pride and the shame is definitely a big thing that we have to break through. By the time they get to me, they still have that pride a little bit, but they're just like okay, crystal, I don't want to go to my church. I feel judged. They have these different feelings, but I've been watching you and you have a similar story, so can you help me out with this? So they're just finally get to that point. But yeah, pride and shame is so huge and that was really big for me too.

Speaker 1: 16:11

Ooh, I actually really love that you said this too, because I think it would be hard to go to your church right, Especially if they have a leadership role at their church or anything like that too.

Speaker 2: 16:17

Which is the case sometimes.

Speaker 1: 16:18

Yeah, which I feel could totally be the case. There's definitely been times where I've been in conversations with somebody oh, so-and-so stepped back from leadership because you're struggling with this addiction or this addiction.

Speaker 1: 16:32

And I'm like man, that kind of feels terrible. You know what I mean. To rip something away from them that gives them a little bit of purpose. Yeah, so I could see not going to your church too and then feeling like you have no outlet because you can't talk to people at church, you can't do all those things. I know I grew up or I like attended like a very high control religious organization and, like you, were actively encouraged actually to monitor each other's behavior. Right, I know people in that church who, like if they did have a bottle of wine, like they would hide it under their kitchen sink before people came over yeah, because they didn't want a member to see it in passing and they would actively. It was very interesting. They'd be like, okay, we think crystal would be really good working with the children, does anybody not agree? And you would raise your hand as a congregation and be like I don't agree and then they would go meet with you after and be like.

Speaker 1: 17:22

I saw her like have a glass of wine and so therefore she can't be working with children, so so I definitely think there's like a lack of community kind of in that way too. So it can feel really isolating and alone, because who are you supposed to talk to when you create this beautiful safe space for women to come and work through these issues where they probably couldn't otherwise?

Speaker 2: 17:43

Yeah, definitely, and I think it goes back to like we were talking about that pressure to like as Christians sometimes, you know, and yeah, I definitely, I see that a lot and I think it's I don't know, it's such an honor to that no-transcript. Remember I was working with a coach at one time and she wasn't a Christian and she was like, yeah, she was like I don't know if women are really going to need you in the Christian space, because I don't only think Christians drink and I was like I'm a Christian and I was struggling with binge drinking, so it's just again. I can go off on so many different tangents there, but I think it's. I agree with you. I think it's such a need within the church too, where people need community and people need somewhere to go to because they can feel that judgment or they can feel that shame and guilt, and even if it is a welcoming church, like it.

Speaker 1: 18:51

Okay, I love this. So, on this thread then, because there's pressure and everything, do you think that the church and like the Christian community as a whole, could be like doing better? What are some things you think that they could do? Sorry, this is asking her like a big C question. What do you think the whole church could do to make this like a safer place, you know, or is it something that you think has to exist outside of the church, like for those reasons we talked about?

Speaker 2: 19:18

gosh, I think we definitely need to have both, and I I don't know what's coming to mind really is just showing that unconditional love. I mean, I feel like it really comes down to love. I mean, I feel like when and it makes me think back to the church that I was at that time they weren't sitting there saying, oh crystal, you shouldn't be drinking. Oh crystal, drinking oh Crystal? Oh my gosh, that's how you drink, that's how you're acting, you're a Christian, right? So there was literally no judgment. They loved me through it all. Yes, they shared truth with me, but it was in a loving way.

Speaker 2: 19:47

And so I think, really go back to the Bible and go back to how Jesus responded, how Jesus teaches us how to be, like. One of the main things he tells us is to love each other, right. And so I think if the church just focused on that, opposed to being so focused on sin not that we shouldn't talk about it, but I think truly, if we can go back to that would make a world of a difference. And even if we just look at the world right now, there's so much confusion, there's so much of an identity crisis, there's so much going on, and it's I truly believe it's because of that lack of love that people are not really receiving.

Speaker 1: 20:27

That's what I would say with the church for sure. Okay, I love that advice so much, so if somebody is listening right now, and they're like okay, crystal, I'm struggling with my one glass of wine, or I'm secretly binge drinking, or maybe I'm a full-blown addict right now.

Speaker 2: 20:42

What advice would you have for them? Yeah, I would say that it's okay to ask for help. I would say I know there can be a lot of confusion too when we're going through this process of, okay, should I drink, should I not drink, especially in that binge drinking cycle, because it's that gray area. And I kind of just want to say, if you're having that confusion, to really just go back to Jesus, like what has God already told?

Speaker 1: 21:03

you.

Speaker 2: 21:03

Because we can. We can go and Google, we can go and ask somebody else hey, is my drinking bad, or this and that. But it really comes down to what God is really speaking to you about and just allowing yourself to go on that conviction, allowing yourself to just trust the Lord and really just taking that pressure off that you have to do it alone. That's probably the main advice that I would give, especially to leaders and things like that. You don't have to do it alone and at the end of the day, everybody has their own struggles. It's just some people. You can see others more. You can see some people struggles more than others.

Speaker 2: 21:35

But at the end of the day, we are Christian or not, we are all human beings and we all struggle and the Lord called us to carry each other's burdens. He says to lay it at his feet, and I'll stop right there because if not I'll probably keep rambling. But that's the one thing I will say is that you don't have to do it alone, you don't have to have that shame or guilt and it's okay to ask for help. You're not signing your life away. It's just kind of taking that next step to freedom, which the Lord is probably already convicting you on.

Speaker 1: 22:01

Okay, I love this. Where can they go to find you, so they don't have to do it alone?

Speaker 2: 22:06

Yeah, so I have a free community it's called the Kingdom Alliance Community on Facebook, and then I also have a 12-week mentorship that's called the Clean Method Mentorship and that's where I really take you through a 12-week curriculum and I just show you everything that the Lord has really taught me, what I've learned through my own experience and education of really letting go of alcohol but, like I said, really learning how to develop a sober mind, because it goes beyond just the bottle. We do talk a lot about other things because I know for myself, when I stopped drinking alcohol, I started overdoing it with caffeine and then it was food and I was over obsessing over my body, and so we really touch on all those different things and relationships and things like that, and so that's essentially what the 12 week clean method mentorship is. So I would say on Facebook is a great place to find me.

Speaker 1: 22:50

I'm also on TikTok and yeah also on TikTok and, yeah, I love it. I will link to all of her stuff. That's where I found her with TikTok, that's where we connected many moons ago, and so I am just so grateful that you're here. We probably could do like multiple episodes talking about what it actually means to be sober minded, and poor Crystal was not prepared for me to ask her like, hey, how should we fix the church? I gave her no prep for that, by the way, but I just love and appreciate you being here and just sharing this with us because, yeah, so many of us have either been through it, we know somebody who's gone through it, and it's not the easiest thing to ask for help for. So I just appreciate you being so vocal and willing to share your story so that others can find freedom.

Speaker 2: 23:32

Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1: 23:37

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate you. Thank you, friend. Hey friend, what a joy it has been to share today's journey with you. If you found a spark of inspiration or a nugget of wisdom that resonated, would you bless someone else by sharing this episode with them? It could be the encouragement they need to step into their purpose and calling. Also, if you could spare a moment to leave a review, it would mean the world to me. I really appreciate your feedback and it really helps our community grow. Remember, the road to discovering God's call for you isn't one you have to walk alone. So join me again next Monday for another episode where we'll continue to explore the depths of leadership and the heights of our heavenly calling. Until then, keep seeking, keep growing and keep trusting in his plan.