Overcoming Idolatry and Perfectionism: How Can You Be Ambitious and Have a Servant Heart? | #135

What if you could find the perfect balance between ambition and surrender? Join me, Lemon Price, as I share my deeply personal journey through the Radiant Leadership Academy and reflect on my growth towards becoming a Proverbs 31 woman. I open up about a powerful lesson on dying to oneself and how it forced me to confront my struggles with idolatry and perfectionism. Listen as I discuss my competitive nature, shaped since childhood, and the insights I've gained from the parable of the talents about stewarding God's gifts.

Feeling the pressure of constant productivity and the looming risk of burnout?

 Let's talk about the delicate balance between striving for excellence and honoring our need for rest. Through reflections on scriptures like Matthew 11:28-30 and Philippians 4:19, I emphasize the importance of empowering others and recognizing personal limitations.

Discover how community support through Kingdom Alliance has provided me with the resources and encouragement to align my ambitions with God's plan.

Join our conversation and remember that discovering God's calling is a journey best traveled together.

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"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve." Mark 10:45

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Chapters

• 0:17 Radiant Leadership Academy 2 Reflection
• 11:47 Balancing Ambition With Surrender and Faith
• 22:44 Journey of Purpose and Community

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:17

Hey, I'm Lemon. I am just like you, sister friend. Talk about stepping into that overflow that God has for us by becoming those ultimate Proverbs 31 women. Hey, I'm Lemon. I am just like you, sister friend. I knew God had something more in store for me, but I couldn't see a way out of the laundry piles and, frankly, I resented that. Proverbs 31 woman. How was I going to live up to the hype? That is until I found out how to really step into becoming this Proverbs 31 woman through leadership development. In this podcast you're going to find financial freedom, leadership, growth and motivation, so you'll be able to do all the things God has called you to do with ease and really step into that land of milk and honey.

Speaker 1: 0:59

Welcome back to the Milk and Honey podcast. I'm your host, lemon Price, and today's episode is probably a weird one. I'm going to be honest, because it is deeply personal to me and it is something that I have struggled with for the entirety of my life, basically, and I'm 34. Only, I just sort of had this epiphany about myself. I just made a TikTok about it. So if you're not following me on TikTok, you should, because sometimes we talk about revelations that I'm having and things that are kind of going on in my world over there and it gets out faster than it does. On the podcast.

Speaker 1: 1:36

I am currently taking Radiant Leadership Academy 2, which is a nine week second, like level, basically, of Radiant Leadership Academy, which is a 16 week Holy Spirit led biblical leadership training. It's accredited by the ICF and so if you're listening to this before September the 9th, which I hope you are, then you should get in touch with me because you could either take a class with me or take a class with Michelle Schaefer, and so my classes are Tuesdays, her class will be Mondays, mine's during the day, hers is at night, whichever fits your schedule best. You should come and talk to me about it, because I have taken this class personally. I have either taken it or taught it, I think 11 or 12 times. I think this is my 12th time going through this material. It wrecks me every single time.

Speaker 1: 2:27

Radiant Leadership Academy 2, michelle said it was going to be intense and I believed her. She is my mentor, she is my friend. I believe her when she tells me it's going to be intense. What I did not anticipate, I guess, is how much this would wreck me. So we were going through the class and talking about basically dying to a dream and dying to yourself, and how seeds actually have to die, like you have to break off their shell, they have to die basically in their current form in order to be reborn into something else. And I was like, oh man, it just like it wrecked me because she was talking about dying to yourself in order to be fruitful and how, you know, this seed probably doesn't know what God's going to use it for and how it's going to be created and all those beautiful things. And so I just was sitting here thinking about myself and we were talking about idolatry and you know how much we focus on something, how much are we talking about this thing and how you know, is it? Do we talk about it more than Jesus? Do we spend more time with it than we do Jesus? And I'm like man, that is so tricky. And so I was just thinking about it and I was texting Michelle after class and I was just like this class was so good. You know, like I just felt really convicted and really wrecked because I kind of have realized about myself over the last few months I'm a very competitive person.

Speaker 1: 3:56

I'm a very perfectionist type person. I look at data to validate the things that I'm doing, and I've always been this way. I've always been the person who is looking for some external validation and, like this desire to be number one, like I just I want to be number one all the time. And so I grew up, you know, I grew up doing dance and I grew up doing cheerleading and you know there's who's going to get the front and who's the best and who's going to, who's going to get this and who gets that perk, and so it's always been ingrained in me to want to be the best at something. And then I remember, even growing up too, you know, there was just this push to be to do all of the AP classes and to excel in certain areas and apply for certain scholarships and to make sure that I got certain scholarships and won certain awards and like all of those kind of things. It was ingrained in me to want to be the best. And what I've learned about myself is that if I have already decided in my brain cabin that is not attainable for me, then I just self sabotage or I won't do it. I'll be honest, I just won't do it. And it's weird. It's like this weird thing where it's I want to be and I've learned this about myself and now I'm like working on it. So you're like getting like where I was and then I'll tell you kind of where I am. But there was like this need to be, to be the best. Always I didn't want anybody to see me as less than, or incapable or not doing things with excellence.

Speaker 1: 5:40

I look at the parable of the talents and you know they stewarded. You know, two of the servants stewarded their talents well, some better than others, right, I mean they doubled what they had. And then the one dug their, you know, took their talent and dug a hole and buried it and didn't multiply it. And that parable, though at the end of it the master says to the servant you wicked and lazy servant, and he takes from him what he has. And to me, that parable, it stresses me out because Jesus says that parable could sum up the kingdom and I'm like, okay, god, like I have to take what you've given me and I have to steward it the best. I need God to look at me and say well done, good and faithful servant, you've taken what I've given you and you maximize it. I don't want to get to heaven and God look at me and be like there was so much more you could have done.

Speaker 1: 6:37

And I think part of this, too, comes from I belong to a church where you know your works were a part of it, and there's like this constant need for me to want to please God. And so it's weird, it's like this, like selfish motivator but also not, and it's this weird juxtaposition that I've been wrestling with over the last few weeks, where I want to be the best at something because God has given it to me, and then I also feel like when I am the best at said thing, I'm the number one at Kingdom Lines. I'm the number one at Kingdom Alliance. I'm the number one podcast in the world, whatever it is. I don't know what it is, but I'm just like a number one time New York Times bestselling book, like whatever that thing is that is on my brain.

Speaker 1: 7:19

I also then look at it. I'm like, man, there's so much good I can do with it. So like with Kingdom Alliance as top of our comp plan, you're minimally making $60,000, $70,000 a month. Where I live, the average income is like $30,000 a year. So I'm like, okay, imagine if I made double somebody's yearly salary every single month. Imagine the ministries that could be funded. Imagine the support we could get.

Speaker 1: 7:44

My husband and I, we want to start nonprofits, and so it's like for me, it's almost being number one means that I can go and pour back out, and it also means that I've developed like I'm just going to use Kingdom Alliance as the example here that also means I've developed leaders who are leading and making a difference in their community, and I have the most leaders. I've developed the most leaders, and so it's this weird dichotomy that I kind of have. Where it's I want to be number one. But I want to be number one because I want to be sure that I'm stewarding what I have. Well, I want to be, I want to develop leaders.

Speaker 1: 8:19

Some of the people on my team are doing incredible things. I just talked to somebody on my team yesterday who and I've talked about her before she's starting maternity homes in South Georgia, and so if you know anything about how to start a maternity home or post-abortion counseling or any of those things, please get in touch with me and I will connect you with her. But she's starting those here in South Georgia, and so that's why she joined Kingdom Alliance so that way she could be a better speaker and a better leader because she has this big mission that she's trying to accomplish. And then I happen to know people who can help her and I literally just text her, because one of my husband's friends he runs a different business and nonprofit I think it's a nonprofit, but he happens to know people who run other similar types of nonprofits who have a passion for what she's passionate for, and they were like they actually might have some facilities that she can use and so I was able to connect them.

Speaker 1: 9:13

Beautiful, I loved it. That's real and it's weird. It's this weird place where I want to be number one, because I want to do things like this, because I want to talk to more people who can help support other team members, dreams and it, and so it was like this weird place to be where I've got to die to myself and I've got to die, and that was hard too right. So we had this conversation on surrendering and giving it up and Brandy and I love Brandy she said to me she said you need to surrender to receive. I'm like what does that even mean? Maybe I'll do a whole episode on that, because that's something I'm struggling with.

Speaker 1: 9:52

What does that mean? That feels selfish to me to say, god, I'm going to surrender so you can give me something in return. What does that mean? So I feel like, no, shoot me a message on Instagram or Facebook or book a coffee chat, I don't care, let's have these conversations because I want to hear from you, I want to talk to people who are more seasoned than me, and maybe then I can pour that back out here.

Speaker 1: 10:14

But it's this hard place to be in, where I want to use my gifts to the fullest potential. But then also, I don't want to be self-reliant, I want to rely on God, and so maybe that's where the surrender to receive is. I've just surrender my thoughts, my desires, my talents to God so I can receive whatever he has for me. Maybe I'm like working this out live while I'm recording it, and I guess that's probably what Brandy means Surrender my selfish desires, whatever they are, my self-reliance to God so that I can receive what he actually has for me. But it's hard.

Speaker 1: 10:50

I think it's really hard to also be ambitious, right, because God made me ambitious and I don't want to say ambition is bad. The world needs ambitious, faithful leaders. It just does. Michelle and Bobby went to an event, and if you guys don't know who they are, they're the founders of Kingdom Alliance. And if you don't know what Kingdom Alliance is, shoot me a message. But they went to an event a couple of months ago and they were blown away because here they are, surrounded by the entire room was full of believers who made millions upon millions of dollars, and they were funding ministries and nonprofits and things that they cared about. Writing that checks with you know, commas in them. So I want to be that person and so it's. We need Christian faithful and I don't even like the word Christian, necessarily. We need kingdom focused, ambitious leaders.

Speaker 1: 11:47

But then that also makes me feel sometimes like I have to do more to be effective. As soon as I create a little bit of free time in my schedule, I then go and fill it with something else, and so I'm kind of learning how to surrender. I'm kind of learning how to be, learning how to empower other leaders better and really pull the best out of them. It's a difficult, it's a balancing act. That's what I'm going to say, because there's this tension between striving to do more right but then risking burnout or self-sabotage when this pressure to become the best is overwhelming, and so I really liked Matthew 11, 28 through 30. It says then Jesus said come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is light. And that's kind of been like my verse lately.

Speaker 1: 12:49

To be honest, I don't have to do this by myself, and I can. I can surrender, I can put aside my desire. It's okay, I guess, to want to be the best, but do it, do it in a God honoring way. That makes sense. I hope that makes sense. That's kind of where I'm at right now and what I'm working through, because it was something I really despised about myself. I'm going to be really honest. It was something I kind of despised about myself, about myself. I'm going to be really honest. It was something I kind of despised about myself.

Speaker 1: 13:27

I wanted to be everything to everyone at all the time and steward it with excellence in every single instance, and it's just not reality, and that's kind of what I've learned, especially it's kind of interesting too, because that's the whole reason that I joined Kingdom Alliance, to be honest is that I have limitation. I cannot teach somebody how to write and publish a book. I can't be somebody's personal trainer. I can't help them with their finances. I can't teach you about, I don't know how to maximize credit cards or do credit counseling or any of this. I can't do any of those things for you, but other people can, and that's why I partnered with Kingdom Alliance, so that I could provide to my friends and family and you know the people that I'm called to mentor all of the resources that they could need with experts who believe in Jesus, so that they can be the best version of themselves and start working on whatever area of their life they want to work on. And so it's. I knew that going in, and yet I still. I can do that. Stick that on my plate, stick that on my plate, I'll do it. I'll do it. Whatever you ask of me, I'll do it. And so it's this balancing act. That's where I'm at.

Speaker 1: 14:35

I have to like I'm learning to recognize the limits that I have, learning to put more boundaries in place, and especially with myself, like not necessarily with people, but with myself, and saying it's okay. Jesus said come to me. If you have heavy burdens, my burden is light. I take my yoke upon you, my burden is light. That's kind of where I'm learning to be. It's like this, this thing that God has called me to, and maybe he's called you to something that feels really heavy. It feels really weighty, and Jesus says come to him, give it to him. Maybe that's what Brandy meant by surrender to receive. I can surrender this heavy burden that I have, this desire to succeed. And again, like I want to succeed, like for my family for sure, I want my family to be proud of me. I want to be proud of myself. I want to show the Lord that I took what he gave me and I stewarded it well. I want to glorify him in that process.

Speaker 1: 15:42

So of course, there's like maybe some quote-unquote selfish desire in there, but then also, like, my desire is to raise up leaders who raise up leaders who are making a difference in their community, who are able to go and be in rooms, like Michelle and Bobby were, and cut a check for fifty thousand dollars for their favorite ministry. There's a ministry I love that. I'm passionate about. Fifty thousand dollars would fund that ministry for two full years. Two, that's wild to me, and so that's something I can do. And so that's where, like, my desire to be the best comes from. And yeah, I'm just trying to balance this, the limitations that I have, and recognizing that I don't have to do everything.

Speaker 1: 16:23

And I love Philippians 419. It says and the same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. I don't have to worry about things, I just don't. God will provide what is needed to fulfill his purposes through us. I actually don't have to worry about that. I don't have to take it all upon myself, and you don't either. You don't either. You don't have to take that on yourself. And so I want to encourage you to redefine success, decide what success means to you.

Speaker 1: 16:59

For me, right now, where I'm at, it's just being faithful with what God has given me, even if that being like not being number one in the world's eyes, but just being faithful with the things that God has given me and stewarding what he has given me and saying, yes, the opportunities that he is putting before me, that glorify him in the process and not necessarily worry about me or the outcome. Michelle always says God, I'll do the work. You, you handle the outcome right, whatever the outcome is. And something like Michelle said during Radiant Leadership Academy too, and it was so good. She said acceptance is not approval, and so you don't have to approve of everything, but we do have to accept things for how they are and where they're headed, and that God will provide in his good time. That's what God will provide in his time, and so I want to encourage you to focus on impact rather than rank or status, or you know, the number of your bank account or what your home looks like, or any of those things.

Speaker 1: 18:07

Focus on the impact, and so I want to encourage you to just reflect on your motives for success. Are you striving to serve others and glorify God, or are you caught in the trap that I was and that I'm working out of to be the best? I want to encourage you to align your ambitions with God's will through prayer and through journaling. Pray for strength, pray for humility, and then I want you to get involved. I want you to get involved. Come join the Facebook group or send me a message on Instagram. Tell me how it is that you're using your gifts to serve others, and the link to the Facebook group is in the show notes. So come and hang out with us, but then also do something that's not business related at all. Serve in a way that has nothing to do with business and in a way that nobody will necessarily see you.

Speaker 1: 19:02

I have learned just like how important that is, and I find it really fulfilling, to be honest. So if you watch my Instagram stories, I have decided because Glenn is on the worship team that I would get involved in production, and I am such like an outgoing bubbly person. I was a cheerleader for a very long time and so I'm good with people. I like being around people, and then I'm like and what do they call it? Like an ambivert or something. I don't know Somebody will correct me, I know you will when I love being around people. People are great.

Speaker 1: 19:39

I love serving people, but then I need to like retreat and take a nap. Whatever that is, whatever that thing is. That's what I am, and, naturally, whenever I go to serve a church, it's hey, front and center. You want to be on the host team? Do you want to serve in this capacity and I was like no, I actually just want to be in production and hide in the back, and so I do.

Speaker 1: 19:59

On Sundays I hide in a like behind a sound booth with a camera and a headset on and I can just focus exactly on the service because it's going to people in the service and people who are watching live stream, and so I just get to focus on serving in a way that nobody knows. Like the only way somebody would know that I'm back there is if I step out of the booth and I have my production lanyard and I always keep it in my pocket, like I don't even wear it, I just have it hanging out of the thing. So that way I can go like into the back because we have security, because you have to with kids. That way I can get into the green room and stuff and it not be an issue because I'm in production but nobody would know, and it's great. So I can come out and I can talk to people and I can serve in this capacity where nobody really knows that I'm back there, and I get to kind of make a difference. And we were talking about this actually at our production and worship team meeting this week.

Speaker 1: 20:56

How even though it feels like sometimes it feels like what you're doing is small, and you're like how is this making a difference? How is me changing slides at church? Or how is me, you know, handing out this bag to somebody who's homeless, like how is that really serving? How am I making a difference If God's called you to it and you are stewarding it well and you are making an impact? And here's the thing you're making an impact, whether you know it or not. Let's be really honest. You're making an impact, and so by you just being obedient is how you make an impact, whether you know it or not. Let's be really honest, you're making an impact, and so by you just being obedient is how you make an impact. That's how you steward what God has given you well is by just showing up and being obedient to what he's asked you to do. So I want to encourage you to get involved in some way where nobody necessarily knows you and where it's not business related at all. So that's my encouragement for you today.

Speaker 1: 21:51

Next week, I'm excited I have my friend Vivian coming on and she is talking all about surrender and timing and just how perfect is that? I, like I didn't even plan it that way. I would tell you I could say I did, but I didn't. I just that's what's been on my heart. The episode with Vivian has been scheduled for months, and so I'm excited for you to listen to that.

Speaker 1: 22:12

Next week is Labor Day. Follow my Instagram stories because we are moving this week, too. It's a crazy week for us. We close on a house on Thursday, and so I will be moving, and then we're having a Labor Day party because obviously that's what normal people do when they move on a Thursday to Saturdays. We host a party on Monday. Right, that's normal. It's because we thrive on it. We love hosting people. I love I just love serving people in that capacity, and so I'm excited for that. Check out my Instagram stories to see all the behind the scenes chaos of moving. It's going to be so fun.

Speaker 1: 22:44

I just pray you have such a blessed week.

Speaker 1: 22:46

Come share your takeaways. Come share with me how it is that you're serving people. Share with me the impact you're making, and if you have struggled with this too, then let's also connect, because you don't have to go through it by yourself. I know I didn't, so I don't want you to go through it alone either. So until next week, friends doodaloo. Hey friend, what a joy it has been to share today's journey with you.

Speaker 1: 23:10

If you found a spark of inspiration or a nugget of wisdom that resonated, would you bless someone else by sharing this episode with them? It could be the encouragement they need to step into their purpose and calling. Also, if you could spare a moment to leave a review, it would mean the world to me. I really appreciate your feedback and it really helps our community grow. Remember, the road to discovering God's call for you isn't one you have to walk alone. So join me again next Monday for another episode where we'll continue to explore the depths of leadership and the heights of our heavenly calling. Until then, keep seeking, keep growing and keep trusting in his plan. God bless you and I'll catch you on the flip side. Bye, friend.