104. Unleashing 'Godfidence': Sarah Fernandez on Mastering Public Speaking with Biblical Boldness

Ever faced the jitters while standing before an audience or felt your voice quiver during a presentation? Fret not, as this week's Milk and Honey Podcast brings you the electrifying Sarah Fernandez, who will guide you to unleash your biblical confidence in public speaking. With Sarah's invaluable insights, we uncover the journey from personal contemplations to empowering others to vocally stand on their God-given platforms. We tackle the fears that hold us back and reveal how anchoring in 'Godfidence' elevates our ability to share the gospel with poise and strength.

This episode is a treasure trove for those looking to master the art of communication in leadership and discipleship. Learn about the transformative power of personal interactions and the necessity of seeing each soul through God's loving gaze. Our dialogue illuminates the path for anyone struggling with social anxiety, illustrating how one-on-one connections pave the way for addressing larger crowds with grace. Embrace the call to lead in your unique capacity, mirroring Jesus's example to become a luminary of His timeless message.

Want to be a better speaker? Come learn more about the Kingdom Speaker Academy.

Meet Sarah: 
Sarah is a woman dedicated to empowering other Christian women to develop biblical confidence, so they can become bold public speakers who will confidently say and do whatever the Lord asks of them. 

Insta: @sarahnicole.fernandez

FB group: https://bit.ly/HowConfidenceSpeaksGroup

Podcast: How Confidence Speaks

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I am so excited about today's guest. She's gonna come on and just really talk about biblical confidence when it comes to public speaking. That is hot on my brain cabin right now because of the Kingdom Seeker Academy approaching, and so you are going to love this episode. If you are wanting to step on the stages or maybe speak on podcasts or summits or whatever the Lord is calling you to, this episode is for you. The Bible says in Numbers 14-8, hey friend, welcome to Milk and Honey with Lemon. The Bible says in Numbers 14-8,. And if the Lord is pleased with us, he will bring us safely into that land and give it to us. It is a rich land flowing with milk and honey. On this podcast, we talk about stepping into that overflow that God has for us by becoming those ultimate Proverbs 31 women. Hey, I'm Lemon. I am just like you, sister friend. I knew God had something more in store for me, but I couldn't see a way out of the laundry piles and, frankly, I resented that Proverbs 31 woman. How was I gonna live up to the hype? That is until I found out how to really step into becoming this Proverbs 31 woman through leadership development. In this podcast you're gonna find financial freedom, leadership, growth and motivation, so you'll be able to do all the things God has called you to do with ease and really step into that land of milk and honey.

Speaker 1: 1:25

Welcome back to the Milk and Honey Podcast. I'm your host, lemon Price, and I'm really excited because I have my friend Sarah Fernandez here. She is the cutest thing. I just love her. I love her energy, I just love her spirit, like you can feel it when I'm sitting here on the computer with her, and I know you're gonna feel that and so Sarah is obviously a believer.

Speaker 1: 1:40

She's a wife, she's a toddler boy, and y'all just pray that this boy starts eating and stops throwing his food on the floor. All my toddler mamas, you guys, know what I'm talking about and what she does. I love what she does. She helps Christian women develop some biblical confidence so you can be a bold public speaker, which, let's be honest, that's what God's calling a lot of us to do. I've heard this spoken prophetically so many times about this year that women are rising up and being bold and sharing the things that God's putting on their heart, and so I love that. She's a part of this mission and this thing that I have heard prophetically for so long. She hosts the how Confidence Speaks podcast and she has a group public speaking and communication skills, so I will link that in the show notes for you. So thank you for being here, sarah friend.

Speaker 2: 2:27

Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited for this. This is my first interview, so I'm just so pumped.

Speaker 1: 2:34

Well, I love that so much. I love that I get to be your first. I tell people and everybody who listens I'm a very casual person. I'm like this is just fun to me, and so I'm excited because we're going to talk about why public speaking matters and godly confidence, and so I'm a little excited to talk about. I always hear people call it Godfidence instead of confidence and stuff, and so I'd love to know like how you even got into the space.

Speaker 2: 3:00

Yeah. So it's actually really funny. When I was trying to think through what I should do a podcast on in my mind, I was like I'm going to do it on godly marriage, because I had come from a home where I was like divorce and now that I'm married and God is the center, I really wanted to share that with other women and teach them about it. And it's funny because God put on my heart no, I want you to talk about public speaking, I want you to just teach women how to speak confidently, how to be bold and to present with boldness. And so I was like God, no, I don't want to do that, I don't want to talk about that, because, although I love public speaking, I just feel like that's not a very fun ministry based podcast idea. And so it's funny. I went to a friend's house and I was teaching her how to write her made of honor speech and she was asking me questions and she was confused and she was like how do you do this so well? Like how do you make it so easy? And it just clicked. I was like, okay, I can do this, like I can help teach women how to do these things in a fun and exciting way, and so that's where it started.

Speaker 2: 4:14

I've always loved public speaking. I've always felt very comfortable doing it. And then I started doing research and realized that like 70% of the population is afraid to speak, and that was like mind boggling to me. I was so confused with that statistic because I just didn't understand where was this fear stemming from? Why was it there? And mostly it stems from this lack of confidence and this fear of judgment of what are other people going to think of me, what are they going to say. And I realized that if we have a confidence rooted in Christ a confidence, if you will, that can propel us to be bold in any endeavor that God calls us to, whether it's speaking, whether it's just going out and doing something. And so I want to help women understand how a biblical confidence and rooting yourself in the Lord can lead you, with proper skill training, to become confident and good and bold speakers for the Lord.

Speaker 1: 5:20

Ooh, I love that and I love that you're like I love speaking. I do too. I every report card I've ever had as a child that I talk to you much, which is funny, that God would, that you could tweet a podcast. I'm like perfect, I could talk all day to people. And so I never understood necessarily the fear of public speaking either. Do you feel like I guess, when I think about it, this fear because you and I both don't have the fear right? So like where, when you talk to people, does the fear really stem from? Or like what's the underlying issue? Necessarily?

Speaker 2: 5:52

So what I've realized when speaking to people about it is that they are mostly afraid of the judgment, they're afraid of the opinions of people, but they're also afraid of being fraud. They're afraid of failing to an extent where they think that it becomes their identity that failure. And I want so badly to remind them of the fact that, like their failures don't define them. And that's where rooting yourself in Christ comes in, because if we do everything unto the Lord, not for man, then we can have a boldness that leads us to know that, hey, even when I fail gonna be okay, God can still use that failure for his glory. So that's what I usually get from people when I talk to them about it.

Speaker 1: 6:42

Oh, I love this. Okay, so I talk to people all the time who are fearful of stepping on stages a podcast, whatever right or like even getting on like TikTok or Reels or anything like that. I don't know if that falls into your thing, but that's where I have so many friends who are like I can't even make a TikTok, I can't make a Reel, I won't do YouTube, I won't do any of it for this fear. And so then, how, what would be the first thing you say to somebody who's I'm actually terrified of doing this?

Speaker 2: 7:10

Yeah. So I would say a few things. I would start off by asking them the question of where are, where is your focus, where are you leaning into? Because a lot of times, people their focus is on themselves and on how they're doing and on what they think, and not on their audience, not who they are speaking to. And that is such an important distinction to make. Because if your focus is on your audience whether it's making a TikTok or you're on stage speaking to a whole crowd, whatever it may be if your focus is on how am I going to benefit my listener, how am I going to help them grow and what can they learn from what I have to offer, then that mindset switch can propel you to be less focused on you and what could potentially go wrong in that fear. And even though that fear may still be there, it won't be as prominent.

Speaker 1: 8:06

Ooh okay so I really I love this because it's not actually about you. I think way too often we make public speaking in any way shape or form about us and it's not about us in any way shape or form. And the Bible says that our gifts are not meant for us, but how we can serve other people.

Speaker 2: 8:26

Yeah, oh, my gosh for sure. And it's funny because I actually listened to a sermon from Francis Chan recently and he was talking about seeking out and aspiring to live a quiet life. And in this like digital age, where everybody has an opinion about everything and can post it and like any second, people get so focused on I want to be the loudest person in the room, I want to speak and share my opinion, and I can do this now or they're on their other side of things and they get so lost in the fear of oh my gosh, what are people going to think of me? I can't say a word.

Speaker 2: 9:09

But if we aspire to live a quiet life for God, then that just means that we need to interact with the people that God has given us the ability to interact with. So if you have that platform on social media, how are you using it? Are you using it for God's glory and are you focusing on helping your listeners rather than the fear or how well you're doing, and are you aspiring to achieve that platform or are you just aspiring to live a life that honors the Lord?

Speaker 1: 9:45

I love this, right. Are we doing this for our glory or for it? And so to that. Then, since we're talking about this, like, why do you think public speaking is so important now? Because we just said it's a little noisy on the internet, right? So why is it so important that we speak now?

Speaker 2: 10:05

Yeah, so I was thinking that too for a while, because I was like man, if I'm trying to live this quiet life, then like how does that work? Because public speaking, like that's the opposite of being quiet. And what I realized is that learning the communication skills to interact with people, even on just a daily basis, in conversations, is crucial, because we are called to share the gospel. We are called to communicate, whether it be through texting or posting or just, you know, on one conversations or on a large stage. It's not about us. So what happens is that we have to create content and we have to speak about things that actually matter. We can't just go out there and create noise, like you said, but we have to make sure that what we're saying has weight to it. Are we using the passions that God has given us, the giftings that he has given us, to lead people to the gospel? Because that is what matters at the end of the day.

Speaker 1: 11:13

Okay, I love that answer just so much because, yeah, there's a lot of noise, there's a lot of like really crazy things out on the internet, but leadership in this capacity and it is leadership right, like you're leading, and I feel like if somebody's listening, I'm like I don't lead anybody. You start with yourself, right, like you're leading yourself. And so leadership is a really weighty call. And if God has asked you to share anything and I love that you said like it could be in texting.

Speaker 1: 11:42

How many conversations have you had that have been misconstrued over a text because text has no tone and you could have said something differently or whatever? My husband and I make it a point to send voice memos back and forth instead so you can hear the way we're actually communicating, out of fear of something we said being taken incorrectly. Right, obviously we still text, but there's something like important we're trying to get across. I'm like let me just send you a voice memo so you can hear the sincerity in my voice and like where I'm coming from, and so I love that. You're like it doesn't matter what you're doing, whether it's a big stage or in one-on-one conversations, how you communicate, it matters so much.

Speaker 2: 12:23

Yes, oh, my goodness. And something you said that it's so good, because you're saying how we're all. We're leaders. We're leaders in that capacity and what I've realized is that before we are leaders, we are all followers. If we are Christians, because we are disciples of Christ and what that means and I think that this isn't taught enough but to be a disciple means that you are following so closely to Jesus that you are becoming more and more like Him, that you are developing His habits and His mannerisms and His beliefs and ideas. And so, when we take on those leadership positions and roles, that can mean that we do it in humility, that we learn how to lead like Jesus did. And, yeah, I think learning the communication skills and pairing it with how Jesus did it Himself can lead us to be leaders that lead us to be leaders that are sincere and actually care about who we are interacting with and leading and speaking to.

Speaker 1: 13:29

I love that. I love how you're like. Listen. That means we have to adopt Jesus' mannerism, jesus' habit, all these things. Jesus had intimate one-on-one conversation with people, but it's a drop of a hat. A crowd would form and he had to be ready to deliver at all times, and so I love that you said that, because we never know what position God is going to put you in and what skills you have to bring to the table in order to effectively communicate. Because they've put you in that position, it's for a reason, and so I love I'm gonna have to sit on that for a minute.

Speaker 2: 14:03

Oh, my goodness. Yes, it is like you said, like sometimes God is going to push us out of our comfort zone. You may be used to having one-on-one conversations with people and he might then say hey, you know what, I need you to go speak to five more people. I'm going to need you to speak to 20 more people. Hey, I need you to go speak on this stage to hundreds of people, and it might happen from one to 100, or it really, more consistently, may happen as the five to 20, to 75 to 100. And that's because the one who has more responsibility, or to the one who has been given most more responsibility, is required.

Speaker 2: 14:47

I cannot remember which verse that is, but I know that's in scripture because it's just. It's so true because we have to know that each individual person we're speaking to is important. Each person needs to hear what we have to say and is going to receive it, and we have to be ready to speak to them directly. And I've heard a lot of people when I speak to them, they say that they deal with social anxiety, and that is really tough. And so when they ask me, they say Sarah, I deal with social anxiety. How could I ever speak to hundreds of people and what I tell them is that you just got to take one step forward. Have that conversation with that stranger and interact with them, ask them questions and just take those baby steps forward so that, when God prompts you to speak to those hundreds of people, you are prepared and able to do it well.

Speaker 1: 15:41

Oh, I love that advice. So my kids make fun of me, actually, because I've never met a stranger it's what they say, Like my mom's never met a stranger. Because I will strike up a conversation in the grocery store, at a park, wherever, because I mean it's getting me out of my comfort zone, it's developing, it's getting me out of my comfort zone, it's getting me out of my comfort zone and so I've been able to do that even more and it's a chance for me to connect with somebody one-on-one. And I love that.

Speaker 1: 16:00

He said before you're speaking to hundreds or whatever, you've got to see the individual right. That's how God sees us. He sees us all individually the guesswork, collective body work, collective family. But then he also knows this individually. Scripture says you know, with every hair on our head, it's a. Being able to get down on that level too is so important. It's my love that you said that and I love that you brought up like all right, if I have anxiety, how can I do this? So for anybody listening who's already come up with 75 reasons why they can't speak right or why they can't do it boldly, like how do you do that? How do you speak boldly, my friend?

Speaker 2: 16:35

So I would tell them to really start small and to develop the skills needed to get to that point to speak boldly, because it's not going to happen overnight. You're not going to get over that fear just like that, like you need to develop the skills to do that. So I would tell them to start by first seeking the Lord in Scripture and learning what confidence looks like, learning what the Bible even says about speaking. And the passage that I always think about is when Moses is being called by God to go speak to Pharaoh, and Moses gives all of these excuses. He says he can't speak. He just can't do it. And God tells him who made the mouth, who made the tongue. I will give you the ability to do it.

Speaker 2: 17:23

And so when we root ourselves in that truth of Scripture, then we can move on to the next step, which is to develop the skills that are necessary, the delivery techniques that can be practiced and done to perfection. We can develop who is our audience and analyze that and figure out who am I speaking to, why am I speaking to them, why should they even care? And then, as you work through those skills, you can become a confident and bold speaker. But it definitely is going to take time. It's not instant gratification, it's not instant change, and that's okay.

Speaker 1: 17:59

Oh, I love that. It's going to take work, like we have to be willing to do the work, so you have to decide. Okay, god called me to do this thing. Am I going to step forward with it? Am I going to be obedient to the thing God's called me to do? At the end of the day, that's really what this sort of comes down to.

Speaker 2: 18:17

It's true, and I think a lot of times people hold themselves back because they associate with their fears or with their insecurities. They think to themselves I'm just an anxious person or I just don't speak well, so God could never call me to do that, god can never lead me to do this. But God is not going to just leave us comfortable. He's going to call us sometimes to do the things that absolutely terrify us and that we are weak in, and the reason being is that he has to be our strength, he has to be the one that we rely on, and he is the one that needs to be glorified. And so, even when we struggle to take those baby steps and we might fail, he's doing that so that we can point back to him and say, hey, I'm doing this for him, I'm doing it for his glory, so he's got me, and that has to be our mentality.

Speaker 1: 19:13

I love that so much. Yeah, it's just, it's never about us, ever, and even the thing God has given us is not about us at all in any way, shape or form. And so I think about this and I'm like, all right, I have a responsibility. Like God has given me this gift, I have to do it and he's called me to the thing. I have to walk obediently because you could be the answer to a prayer that somebody's been praying for a long time. Like people need what you have to say, and so I love that you just. I love the way you talk about this because it is it's a responsibility that we have as believers to go out and share the things. The Bible calls us to go and make disciples. It doesn't say if you feel like it or if you're a great speaker, go and make disciples. Every believer is called to go and make disciples and the only way to do that is to have really good, effective communication skills. At the end of the day, yeah, yeah, most definitely.

Speaker 2: 20:09

And I think it's funny because sometimes we can forget that the passions that God gives us and the giftings that he gives us are avenues to leading people to the gospel.

Speaker 2: 20:22

So, when it comes to public speaking, I remember when I first was thinking about doing this podcast and teaching people about it, I was like, lord, how does that, how do I get to the gospel from that? Because this is like such like a technical thing I don't understand. And what I've realized is that I had to seek the opportunities to bring in that gospel conversation for people to hear it. And so what this does, what learning a new skill does, what using our passions does, is that it pushes us to seek new and innovative ways to honor the Lord and share the gospel and make those disciples, as we've been called to do.

Speaker 2: 21:04

There are people who listen to my podcast who really would never have done that if it wasn't a more technical avenue. If I just was going out saying, hey, this podcast is about the gospel, I'd get mostly Christians who listen to it. But because it's public speaking, I get those people who may have no relationship with the Lord and then at the end of my episode they'll hear me pray, or they'll hear a kind of gospel message through it, and so I think it's important for all of us to know that it is crucial to use our passions to point back to the Lord.

Speaker 1: 21:41

Okay, I love what you just said because I think really often I see a lot of believers saying I'm only gonna work with other believers, and I totally get that. I totally understand working in community. I said that's such harsh. We had a meeting the other day and I said sometimes you're the only Bible somebody's ever going to read. Sometimes your conversation is the only interruption they are ever gonna have with Jesus, and so it is really important that we get outside of ourselves and remember what we're called to do and develop the skills in order to be really good at the thing God has called us to do. I love that. You said that. So okay, if you would delete, because we could talk about this, I feel like, for hours. If you could leave the listeners with a final piece of advice, what would it be, my friend?

Speaker 2: 22:29

Oh, boy, okay, final piece of advice. So it's twofold but it goes together. And I know I might be beating this on the head, but I think it's so important. If you wanna become a confident person, if you wanna become a bold speaker, you have to know who you are in Jesus first, because the gospel impacts every single aspect of our lives, including how we interact with others, how we share the gospel, how we speak and how we go about life. It is just so important. So if you wanna become a confident speaker, before going into all of the skills and learning all of those different ways to do it, you first have to start at the very beginning of who am I in Christ and why does that matter?

Speaker 1: 23:21

I love that so much. It really comes down to identity, right, because that, I think, is the thing the enemy is always going to attack first Is when you can attack your identity. Then you're naturally going to silence yourself, you're naturally going to let shame and guilt and all these things creep in. You're going to let lies from the enemy creep in because he's already chipped away at your identity. And I think that's such important advice for anybody and everybody listening Like know who you are in Christ, because it won't give you the skills and the confidence and things that you need to go and do the thing that you're called to do. So I love that. I love that so much, sarah. Where can everybody go and find you and connect with you?

Speaker 2: 24:00

Yes, I am on Instagram. You can go to sarahnicholfernandez it's Sarah with an H, because H is our amazing. And then my podcast is how Confidence Speaks. It is on any podcast platform. And then I do have a community group and that is where you can learn public speaking tips, biblical application assistance, prayer and just all of that. And then, yes, so those are the places that you can find me.

Speaker 1: 24:31

I love it, sarah. Thank you for being here Y'all. I will link to all of her social and stuff in the show notes for you so you can go and connect with her. So just thank you so much for being here and sharing this. This was such a fun conversation. I took a lot away. I'm going to have to go back and take notes on my own on our own conversation, because I just thought it was so good and so insightful. So thank you for being here, my friend.

Speaker 2: 24:52

Thank you so much for having me. This was so much fun. I can't. I thank you.

Speaker 1: 24:58

Tell me you don't just love Sarah. She is amazing. Go check out her podcast, how Confidence Speaks. It is linked in the show notes for you. And then, if you're thinking about becoming a kingdom speaker, if you want to step confidently into the thing that God has called you to do, then I would recommend joining me in the Kingdom Speaker Academy. We start the second week of April, so you still have time to get in. It is only this is crazy when I tell you this it is only $3.99 to join and to get started with the Kingdom Speaker Academy and we have speaker training available for you. She Bynes is our guest expert this month. There's so much included with this. It is nine weeks of intentional time with you to make sure that you are a confident speaker. So click the link in the show notes to join us in the Kingdom Speaker Academy or go to girlpoweralliancecom slash lemon and you can check out all the details there on the Kingdom Speaker Academy. I hope to see you in there. I am doing it for the third time. I am already a certified speaker and yet I am doing this for a third time. So I 10 out of 10 recommend checking out the Kingdom Speaker Academy.

Speaker 1: 26:12

Hey friend, what a joy it has been to share today's journey with you. If you found a spark of inspiration or a nugget of wisdom that resonated, would you bless someone else by sharing this episode with them? It could be the encouragement they need to step into their purpose and quality. Also, if you could spare a moment to leave a review, it would mean the world to me. I really appreciate your feedback and it really helps our community grow. Remember, the road to discovering God's call for you isn't one you have to walk alone. So join me again next Monday for another episode where we'll continue to explore the depths of leadership and the heights of our heavenly calling. Until then, keep seeking, keep growing and keep trusting in His plan. God bless you and I'll catch you on the flip side. Bye, friend.